Writing a book is an intimate thing. Lonely, even.
When I wrapped up the first draft of my novel, it was just past midnight on a random Tuesday (well, Wednesday at that point). My husband and pets were all in bed. Most of the lights in the house were off. It was otherwise quiet, besides my special “Into The Glow” playlist blasting in my headphones. I typed those last words—no, not The End, because I actually forgot to do that at that point—slunk back in my chair, paused my music, and my ears rang.
It was over.
I closed my laptop. I wasn’t even at my desk. I had been hunched at the dining room table for a couple of hours because I needed a change of scenery from the couch. I had already done my nighttime routine because I knew it was going to be a late one. All I had to do was close up shop and slither into bed.
When I did, I whispered to my husband: “Hey…I did it.” He was proud but half-asleep. I didn’t blame him. I think I was actually whispering that to myself. Hey. I did it.
It was, in a way, anticlimactic. But it was exactly what it should have been: Personal.
The personal nature of these milestones is important to hang onto. Here’s why.
The five months or so it took to get to the end of my first draft (not counting the 10 year incubation period of this idea) was full of ups and downs, a lot of self-doubt, plenty of Doom-Googling, and one scary thought: What if nobody likes it?
Me to me: Don’t worry about that yet. Just write the first draft.
So that scary thought became mostly dormant by the time I finished my first draft. Then I let my draft sit untouched for a long three weeks before I reread it, marked it up, did what I like to call World Building 2.0, and cracked open the second draft. Now, on the other side of the rewrite, I face that question again. It’s with beta readers. Soon I’ll literally find out if they like it or not.
The more time I spend away from my novel, the more I question it. What if nobody likes it? What if they can’t even finish reading it? Should I have made a character do this instead? Is that plot point problematic? What if, what if, what if.
Me to me: Stop that!
Actually, John Steinbeck to writers everywhere: “Forget your generalized audience. The nameless, faceless audience will scare you to death…In writing, your audience is one single reader. I have found that sometimes it helps to pick out one person—a real person you know, or an imagined person and write to that one.”
This tip is so freeing, both in the writing process and the post-writing-slump-of-self-doubt.
It’s overwhelming to think about putting so much time and effort into something that nobody will want to read—or worse, read and dislike. So during my process, I took John Steinbeck’s advice to heart: I wrote to an audience of one. Myself. Here’s why you should do the same thing:
4 Reasons to Write For Yourself, First
#1. Your story can only come from you
No matter your genre. No matter your inspiration. No matter what it’s about, your story can only be written by you.
Writing for yourself first means writing exactly what you would want to read in a story. It will be uniquely yours, which means it can’t be replicated by anyone else.
If you’ve ever thought to yourself: “What if this idea has been done before?” Know this: It’s okay if something similar has been done before. It’s never been done by you.
#2. The accomplishment of writing a novel is enough
If you’re intrinsically motivated like me, this will resonate.
I write because it’s fun and I love it. I say writing is lonely, but not writing is even lonelier. I write because I love stories and I know there’s at least one reader out there that wants to read mine. And sometimes that reader is myself.
Finishing your book, even if you’re the only reader (but I doubt that will be the case 😉), is enough! Not to mention, you will inevitably improve as a writer after your first draft.
#3. People can only read it if it exists in the first place
Is worrying about your broad audience paralyzing your progress? It’s scary to imagine other people reading your book. Worse: Other people choosing not to read it. But the only thing preventing them from reading your book is you not writing it in the first place. They can’t read it if it doesn’t exist. Take that chance!
#4. Avid book readers are always looking for more to read
This idea gave me such a confidence boost during my process. Go on Bookstagram or Booktok and see the blossoming “bookish” culture. People just want to read. There is literally endless demand for new content. It’s a beautiful thing.
Sure, people like to reread their favorites. But who’s to say your book can’t be their next?
Final Thoughts: Who’s Your Audience of One?
I wrote my story for myself, first. On one hand, that’s enough. That’s satisfying. On the other hand, it’s kind of lonely. Karen A. Chase puts it best: “Writing is a solitary endeavor, being an author is not.”
If you’re writing a novel, that book is meant to be shared. It’s meant to be read by other people. That means you have to actually put it out into the world…
It’s scary. To help get comfortable with that, I picked out one person that I could trust to share my book with. My audience of one. My alpha reader. My husband.
He won’t accept co-writing credits, so I call him the “keeper of the lore.” We stayed up late talking and dreaming about this thing. We bounced ideas off of each other. I made changes and cleared them with him to make sure I didn’t forget something important.
This man read this thing TWICE! He read it chapter-by-chapter the first time through. After I rewrote it (in which a lot changed, even some core lore), I ended up reading each edited chapter to him out loud. A special edition audiobook, if you will.
So if nobody else reads it, I’m happy, because we got to have this experience together. Writing can be so isolating, and it always has been for me. 17-year-old-me would hunch in her bed writing a story, sneak downstairs for ~girl dinner~ at 9 PM, race back to bed to keep writing through the night…It’s nice, ten years later, to be able to share this experience with the closest person in my life.
Write for your audience of one. Someone who will root for you no matter how it all turns out. It’s okay if that person is yourself.
Happy writing!
